This is the beginning of Diabetes Blog Week! The first prompt is share or don’t share in which we talk about our relationships with our doctors.
My endocrinologist is a wise older man who often tells me he is so experienced at treating diabetes that he could get my numbers to do anything he wanted…but he would rather allow me the control I need to get my numbers where they belong. This is the goal my doctor has for me, to give me the tools I need to control my diabetes on my own. The only problem is, he treats me like a child learning to walk, but he doesn’t offer that outstretched hand.
Funny story: When I went to my training session with the Medtronic team to begin using my pump, they told me that in the past, whenever a patient asked my doctor for a pump, he would hand them the pump and tell them to teach him how to use it. This sums up for me the kind of teacher my doctor is. He often sits back and expects us to figure things out with little to no explanation.
When I first began seeing my endocrinologist, I was intimidated and expected to be berated for my weight. I was. My doctor is old school and he continues to believe that weight and diabetes are directly related and one causes/effects the other. For this reason, he outright refuses to believe me when I say I exercise five days a week and that I follow a well balanced diet because the scale tells him I don’t. It’s incredibly frustrating on my part.
But it’s not all bad. My doctor is professional and surprisingly supportive. During one especially frustrating visit, I began to cry. My doctor simply nodded and said, ‘It’s not easy.’ That meant more to me than anything else he could have said. To acknowledge that the day to day living with diabetes is not easy, that it is a struggle, validated all of my frustrations and fears in one, simple statement.
My doctor is not as supportive as I would like. But I guess there are times when I am not as compliant as I should be. But this thing is a struggle. And like another blogger said, this is a relationship and it comes with the same give or takes as any other relationship. We seem to have found a common ground and are working together to keep my diabetes under control. After all, isn’t that the point?