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I think I’ve about had it with Diabetes Daily.

When I needed help dealing with my diabetes, I turned to the internet. My family was baffled, they didn’t know what to do to help me. And I don’t know anyone else who has diabetes and deals with the things that I deal with. I found Diabetes Daily through a class they were offering to teach people how to deal with their diabetes. The class forced the students to give one another feedback. I needed that at the time, especially some very kind comments the doctor running the classes had to offer me.

Now, however, I’m just tired of the bull crap that goes on there.

They all think they know exactly how to treat diabetes and that if someone else is doing it differently, then they are wrong.

I once read a post, on that website, by an athlete who has diabetes. He described treating a low during a basketball game with glucose tabs, a banana, and something else I can’t really remember right now. The poor guy was skewered in the comments section by people who were upset that he ate carbs and that he allowed himself to get low in the first place. Like he should have been able to predict what an unpredictable condition will do…

It’s also this site where I am constantly running into message board posts discussing the merits of low carb and picking on people who choose not to follow that path.

The people on that site do not understand the concept of what works for them might not be the best fit for someone else.

They are intolerant.

I just left that site, where I read a post from one of the regulars discussing a fat child she saw at a buffet on Easter Sunday. The discussion began with a description of the family, including a heavy-set father, a skinny, younger child, and the fat girl. The poster commented that she expected to see a morbidly obese mother, as well, but one never showed up. She spent several sentences discussing where that mother might be. (And, by the way, I am obese, have been since I was a toddler, but my mother was a svelte 120 all my childhood). She then discussed, in detail, what the children ate, comparing the calories the older girl was eating in comparison to what the brother was eating. She was quick to point out that the boy took vegetables. She never mentioned if he actually ate the vegetables. (My son often takes vegetables, but he rarely eats them.)

When did it become okay to fat shame children?

The comments to the post were a mixture of sympathetic and outrageous. Some felt sorry for the girl. They all decided that, based on the way she was eating, the girl did not have a medical problem that made her fat. Like they could see into her medicine cabinet and see that she was not taking a medication that made her crave carbs or had a heart condition that kept her from exercising. It was simply her huge plate of spaghetti and four pieces of fried chicken (again, she does not mention if the girl ate it all).

I have to wonder what business it was of this woman to monitor what someone else’s child was eating. Would she have paid attention if the child had been skinny? I’ve known some kids who eat nothing but junk…pastries and pastas and sodas all day long…but are skinny as a rail. And one girl, a friend of my daughter’s, who eats very little but weighs far too much because of a heart condition and asthma and the drugs used to treat these conditions.

How does this poster know that this wasn’t the child’s only meal that day? Or that it was the only restaurant meal she had had or would be having in weeks or months? How did she know that child was not on a medically prescribed diet and her father had allowed her one meal off of the diet for the holiday? How did she know that the food choices the girl was making were unusual, that she eats differently at home?

Just because she was fat, automatically her food choices were wrong.

They know nothing about this child, yet they judge.

It makes me wonder what people say about me when I go to a buffet. I love the variety of foods. I love to fill up a plate, taste a few things here and there, then go back for more. And the dessert station…that’s the best part! Who goes to a buffet and doesn’t sample at least two or three desserts? And what parent would stop their kid from tasting the desserts?  When I was a kid, a buffet was the only time we were allowed to have dessert in a restaurant. And I love sharing it with my kids. My son is so picky, he hardly ever tries a variety of foods. Only at a buffet will he let me goad him into tasting something new. And often, it leads to other explorations.

Food is a necessary evil. Food is the centerpiece of most American holiday traditions. Americans have a very complicated relationship with food, especially those of us dealing with a medical condition that involves the digestive system.

If starving yourself and only eating meat and fat works for you…hallelujah!

It doesn’t work for me.

It shouldn’t be attempted in a child without the advice and close supervision of a doctor.

I wonder…did that woman ever think of how her staring at this poor child might have ruined her Easter Holiday?

Would it have killed her to simply smile and say, “Have a lovely day?” and keep her opinions to herself?

If someone ever looked at my child the way that poster was clearly looking at this poor, fat girl, I would have had to intervene.

I feel for this poor, tormented girl who can’t even have a fun meal out because of the judgement being placed on her.

That was me once upon a time. Still is….

 

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