Life really sucks.

I know I’ve repetitively said that I plan to be less negative on this blog. And I meant what I said (mostly). But things have changed this week and I need to be negative for a little while.

I hate diabetes. I hate when bad things happen to your children and you can’t explain to them why. I hate when the worst tragedy of my child’s life is happening and I have a low blood sugar and have to take a moment to myself.

Fuck diabetes.

My son and his wife went into labor Tuesday night. When they arrived at the hospital, the nurses and doctors couldn’t find the heart beat.

They were 37 weeks.

How do you deal with that?

Now my child is planning a funeral for his first, and only, child.

As diabetics, we sit around feeling sorry for ourselves because we have this chronic condition that alters our lives, that makes it more difficult to enjoy the things we thought were so important.

Suddenly, I feel really selfish and petty and self absorbed.

I would deal with the worst disease possible, and do it happily, if it meant my son could have his daughter back.

First he had to suffer through leukemia. And now this.

Life really sucks.